2013: Right Now

It’s the first week of 2013 and the media – both traditional and social - is obsessed with the idea of resolutions, change, and making a fresh start.  I've made no resolutions for 2013, except if you count the one I made jokingly with Knute & the kids that I resolve to lose weight in March, which happens to be when I’m due with baby #4. 

It’s not that I’m anti-resolution; no, not at all.  I just happen to hold dear the idea that every day is a fresh start, a chance to try, try again, to be, as Matthew Kelly would say in his wild Aussie brogue, “the best version of yourself.”

I’m ever-grateful that I get a second chance with each sunrise to do a better job of living my life, to do a better job of loving my life and loving those in my life.  I’m ever-grateful because over the course of my life there have been  more days than I care to count when I have fail to appreciate the gift that each new day is, days when distraction or anger or envy or all the trappings of pride have won the lion’s share of my attention.  And worse, days when despair has trapped me in its cyclonic grip.

It took raising young children to teach me this lesson of being present to the gift of the present.   A three year old doesn't think too far past the end of their toes, much less about tomorrow, or next week, or next year.  Time to a young child is something that belongs to the grown-up world; for a small child, there is just right now, with a dash of yesterday’s experiences to color their view of the world.  It is both maddeningly frustrating and wildly liberating to parent young children just for this very reason.  Frustrating because you repeat yourself over.and.over.and.over again.  But liberating – oh so liberating – because if you can enter into that sense of right now, of being present to the present, you can finally truly live in the moment, letting go of those worries about the future and disappointments about the past. 

As I head into 2013,  I am readying myself for the arrival of baby #4, a baby that has already blessed our family so much with the joy of her existence (a sister, finally! screamed my daughter when she found out) and blessed me as a mother to see how excited all of her siblings are to meet her, to care for her, and to love her.  I am making no grand or lofty resolutions for 2013; I am simply looking forward to once again being given the chance with this new little one to slow time, to be present in the moment, to live right now.