Labels

It's gotten to the point where going to the doctor or the dentist by myself counts as me-time.

I spent Thursday morning at my OB/GYN's office for my yearly appointment. Not exactly quality me-time, but still - quiet, no kids, and an abundance of easy-reading magazines. I'll take it over squabbling before 8:30 in the morning any day.

Since I hadn't been in the office for over a year, I needed to update my insurance forms. Since I am slightly paranoid detail-oriented, I read the entire print-out before signing it.

And noticed this label above my name:

HOUSEWIFE.

I scratched it out and wrote instead:

At-home-mother.

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Labels bug me.

They bug be because once you've been labeled as something, it usually sticks like glue and follows you through life.

I never bore any negative labels in my school years - although I could do a whole other post on how children get labeled and pigeon-holed, many times in vaguely negative language, from day one in kindergarten.

Being labeled as a mom is something I've struggled with since I found out I was pregnant with my first. In our generation, being just a mom isn't enough. Nope, you've gotta choose teams: Working or At-Home? Homeschooling or Carpooling? Soccer or Dance? Mature or Young? Oh, the list goes on and on.

All those labels do is engender further division and competition, just what modern moms don't need. What we do need is support, guidance, friendship, acceptance.

Love.

We need love.

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The label housewife bugs me because of all the images and cliches it evokes. Like:

Eating bon-bons (those lazy gals!) ; and

Happy Housewife (happy to clean? oh, please!); and, most recently,

Desperate Housewives (in which dimension of reality is this show grounded?)

It felt good to scratch it out (and I scratched hard) and write in my own, priority-driven label.

I could have changed it to blogger or writer. Both true.

But what I am first and foremost is just a mom - one who happens to be blessed in the ability to choose to be here every day for my kids.

Every looonnng, hot, summer day, from dawn til dusk.

WM